Incest is Wincest?
by EddyElrico310
Summary: CRACK! Matthew decides to add a certain American to the chat-room for some innocent conversation with the other, or so he thinks. Shenanigans ensue and certain secrets are revealed that probably shouldn't have been. USUKUS with some AmeCan & UkCan.


Based on a conversation I had with my awesome pal, the user SpicyTomato.

 **Warning for**

 **-Extreme Crack**

 **-Mentions of incest (Duhh! lmao)**

 **-Terrible Puns**

 **-Majorly OOC**

 **-Character death (?)**

 **Not for those who get offended easily !**

Nevertheless, ENJOY! 3

* * *

 **CanadianCutie Added Im_the_hero69 To Chatroom**

Im_the_hero69: Yo man, whats up?

CanadianCutie:DO ME !

Im_the_hero69: DUDE WHAT

Im_the_hero69: WE'RE LIKE RELATED

CanadianCutie: I DON'T CARE.

CanadianCutie: DOOOO MEEEEEEE !

Im_the_hero69: CALM THE FUCK DOWN

CanadianCutie: HAIRDO

CanadianCutie: ME.

Im_the_hero69: oh

Im_the_hero69: OHHH

Im_the_hero69: I THOUGHT U MEANT

CanadianCutie: What ?

Im_the_hero69: jfc

Im_the_hero69: NOTHING

CanadianCutie: OH.

CanadianCutie: YOU.

CanadianCutie: DIRTY.

CanadianCutie: BITCH.

Im_the_hero69: NOOOOOOOOOOOO

CanadianCutie: I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.

Im_the_hero69: IM SORRY, BLAME ARTHUR AND FRANCIS

CanadianCutie: AND TO THINK I WAS GOING TO INVITE YOU TO A GANGBANG

Im_the_hero69: wait what

Im_the_hero69: AND IM THE DIRTY ONE?

CanadianCutie: Yes

Im_the_hero69: u need help bro

CanadianCutie: No.

CanadianCutie: You need help.

CanadianCutie: You need, DICK

Im_the_hero69: oh i got that

CanadianCutie: Oh really?

Im_the_hero: trust me ;)

CanadianCutie: Where can I get some ?

Im_the_hero69: ur the one going to gang bangs

Im_the_hero69: u horny fuck

CanadianCutie: Shh

CanadianCutie: I'm pretending to be innocent

Im_the_hero69: just remember, u cant go wrong if you shield your dong XD

CanadianCutie: Thanks.

CanadianCutie: I always forget.

Im_the_hero69: Cover your stump before you hump XD

CanadianCutie: ALFRED WTF

CanadianCutie: DID YOU COME UP WITH THESE?

Im_the_hero69: Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener

CanadianCutie: ALFREDDDDDDDDD!

Im_the_hero69: I HAVE MORE MOFO

CanadianCutie: OMFG

Im_the_hero69: IF YOU CANT SHIELD YOUR ROCKET, LEAVE IT IN YOUR POCKET XXXXXD

CanadianCutie: AGHHHHHHHHHHHH

Im_the_hero69: COVER YOUR PIPE YOU ASSWIPE

CanadianCutie: ALFRED PLS

CanadianCutie: i bet you never wear a condom omg u dirty fuck

Im_the_hero69: DONT BE A FOOL, WRAP YOUR TOOL

Im_the_hero69: of course i do

Im_the_hero69: how dare you

CanadianCutie: AL FUCKIN FRED

Im_the_hero69: alright alright ill stop JFC

CanadianCutie: GOOD!

CanadianCutie: Seriously though.

Im_the_hero69: WAIT WAIT

Im_the_hero69: I GOT ONE MORE

CanadianCutie: NO!

CanadianCutie: DONT YOU

CanadianCutie: FUCKIN

CanadianCutie: DARE

Im_the_hero69: AWW COME ON

CanadianCutie: NO

Im_the_hero69: HE WONT GET SICK IF YOU WRAP UR DICK

Im_the_hero69: AHAHAH

CanadianCutie: AGHHHHHHHHHHHHJDKSDNHKJNANKAJDNIA

Im_the_hero69: u love it really

CanadianCutie: ABOOT FUKIN SHTITT

Im_the_hero69: 3

CanadianCutie: Fuck you.

CanadianCutie: I HAVE NO BROTHER !

Im_the_hero69: DUDE

Im_the_hero69: IM HURT

Im_the_hero69: :(

CanadianCutie: GOOD

CanadianCutie: GO PUT UR DICK IN SOME BRITISH ASS

Im_the_hero69: MAYBE I WILL ;)))))

CanadianCutie: Wait wait,

CanadianCutie: What if I wan't British ass?

Im_the_hero69: THE FUCK U SAY

CanadianCutie: WHAT

CanadianCutie: IF I WANT

CanadianCutie: BRITISH

CanadianCutie: ASS

Im_the_hero69: GUESS I GOTTA USE MORE MUTHAFUCKIN PUNS

CanadianCutie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo

Im_the_hero69: IF YOU GO INTO HEAT, PACKAGE UR MEAT

CanadianCutie: ALFRED I S2G

Im_the_hero69: U ASKED FOR IT

CanadianCutie: HOW?

Im_the_hero69: STAY AWAY FROM ARTIE, THAT HO MINE

CanadianCutie: I ASKED FOR BRITISH ASS

Im_the_hero69: NEVERRRRRRRR

Im_the_hero69: Go blow Francis or someone

CanadianCutie: ok

CanadianCutie: I MEAN..

Im_the_hero69: uh

CanadianCutie: If he's available

CanadianCutie: Sure why not.

Im_the_hero69: …..

CanadianCutie: Yeah

CanadianCutie: I think hes got a bigger dick than you

Im_the_hero69: EXCUSE ME

Im_the_hero69: HOW DARE YOU

CanadianCutie: To be honest, everyone does.

CanadianCutie:Your dick is tiny.

Im_the_hero69: IM 27 INCHES

CanadianCutie: WTF

CanadianCutie: NO YOU'RE NOT

Im_the_hero69: THATS RIGHT BITCH I AM

Im_the_hero69: WANNA SEE?

CanadianCutie: NO!

CanadianCutie: Ok.

Im_the_hero69: WHAT

CanadianCutie: I MEAN

CanadianCutie: EW NO

Im_the_hero69: Sending me mixed signals here

Im_the_hero69: u wanna see or nah

CanadianCutie: Sure

CanadianCutie: Go for it

Im_the_hero69: *Takes pants off*

Im_the_hero69: SHARING MY GLORIOUS DICK WITH THE WORLD

CanadianCutie: MY EYESSSSSSSSS

CanadianCutie: IT BURNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Im_the_hero69: UR JUST JEALOUS

CanadianCutie: UH NO

CanadianCutie: MY DICK IS FINE THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Im_the_hero69: Sure, whatever ya say princess

CanadianCutie: Princess

CanadianCutie: MOTHER FUCKING

CanadianCutie: PRINCESS

CanadianCutie: ARE YOU KIDDING ME ?!

Im_the_hero69: WHAT

Im_the_hero69: U LOOK LIKE ONE

Im_the_hero69: HA

CanadianCutie: WOOOOOOOOOAH

CanadianCutie: DID YOU REALLY JUST GO THERE

Im_the_hero69: I JUST WENT THERE BYOTCH

CanadianCutie: YOU MOTHER FUCKER

CanadianCutie: *RIPS OFF SHIRT* LETS GO RIGHT NOW YOU SON OF A BITCH

Im_the_hero69: #UWANTAPIECEOFME

CanadianCutie: Ew, no thanx.

Im_the_hero69: not in that way

CanadianCutie: oh

CanadianCutie: THEN YEAH

CanadianCutie: GIMME THE MEAT

CanadianCutie: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Im_the_hero69: First, put your shirt back on plz, I think I just got eye cancer

CanadianCutie: WOOOOOOOW

Im_the_hero69: WAIT WTF

Im_the_hero69: WHAT MEAT

Im_the_hero69: WHAT DID U MEAN ?!

CanadianCutie: I don't know what you're talking about.

Im_the_hero69: DONT PLAY DUMB MOTHERFUCKER

CanadianCutie: YOU'RE THE DUMB ONE

CanadianCutie:AND FAT

Im_the_hero69: WOAH

Im_the_hero69: RUDE!

Im_the_hero69: I ain't fat! I go to the gym, workout and stuff

CanadianCutie: HAHAHA SURE THING

Im_the_hero69: -_-

CanadianCutie: ily

Im_the_hero69: DONT BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY

CanadianCutie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

Im_the_hero69: *wink wonk*

CanadianCutie: where did you find these

Im_the_hero69: THE SEX BIBLE OF MEN

CanadianCutie: OOOH

Im_the_hero69: ONLY FOR MEN

Im_the_hero69: YOU WOULDNT BE ABLE TO SEE IT

CanadianCutie: FUCK ME IN THE ASS

CanadianCutie: BECAUSE I LOVE JESUS

Im_the_hero69: what

Im_the_hero69: what kind of dumb fuckery was that

CanadianCutie: Jesus

CanadianCutie: Christ

CanadianCutie: Want's me to have an active sex life.

Im_the_hero69: We're related u ball sack

CanadianCutie: You and Jesus?

Im_the_hero69 ME AND U

Im_the_hero69: OMFG

CanadianCutie: No.

CanadianCutie: You're wrong.

CanadianCutie: I HAVE NO BROTHER

Im_the_hero69: :(

Im_the_hero69: AT LEAST I DONT HAVE HERPES

CanadianCutie: WOOOOAH

CanadianCutie: WHAT MAKES U THINK I HAVE HERPES?

Im_the_hero69: WHO KNOWS WHAT KINDA SHIT U GOT FROM FRANCIS

CanadianCutie: EWW

CanadianCutie: True

Im_the_hero69: THAT HO CRAWLING WITH STD'S

CanadianCutie: Yeah

CanadianCutie: He's such a slut

Im_the_hero69: *COUGH* SAYS YOU *COUGH*

CanadianCutie: WELLLLLLLLLLL

CanadianCutie: IM INNOCENT!

Im_the_hero69: riighhhhttttttttttttttttt

Im_the_hero69: and I'm jesus

CanadianCutie: you are?

Im_the_hero69: NO U DUMB FUCK

CanadianCutie: Wow! Uncalled for.

CanadianCutie: REPENT THY SINS

Im_the_hero69: Hey Matthew, I sincerely apologise for earlier, you're a very dear brother to me.

CanadianCutie: Oh, I appreciate that.

CanadianCutie: Thank you.

Im_the_hero69: PSYCHE! U BELIEVED THAT OMF

Im_the_hero69: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAA

CanadianCutie: I FUCKIN HATE YOU

Im_the_hero69: loseerrrrrrrrrrr

CanadianCutie: I HAVE NO BROTHER YOU SON OF A BITCH

Im_the_hero69: COULDNT CARE LESS DUDE

CanadianCutie: GO FUCK URSELF

Im_the_hero69: alright

CanadianCutie: IM GONNA STEAL ARTHUR BTW

CanadianCutie: JUST SO U KNO

Im_the_hero69: WHAT

Im_the_hero69: DONT U DARE

CanadianCutie: YEPP

CanadianCutie: IM GONNA WINE HIM AND DINE HIM

CanadianCutie: AND BED HIM

CanadianCutie: JUST LIKE HE WANTS

Im_the_hero69: I WILL STICK CARROTS UP UR ASS

CanadianCutie: OMFG

Im_the_hero69: I hope someone kicks you in the dick

CanadianCutie: Thats mean.

CanadianCutie: I need to use it

CanadianCutie: On Arthur

CanadianCutie: Slap him across the face with it.

Im_the_hero69: I WILL EAT UR PANCAKES

CanadianCutie: Hey that's not cool

CanadianCutie: bro thats not even funny

CanadianCutie: I'd die.

Im_the_hero69: IM ALREADY HALFWAY THROUGH

CanadianCutie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

CanadianCutie: OK THATS IT

CanadianCutie: IM GONNA MARRY ARTHUR

Im_the_hero69: PROMISE TO BACK OFF ARTHUR

Im_the_hero69: ONLY THEN WILL I STOP

Im_the_hero69: OTHERWISE, IM TAKING ALL THE MAPLE SYRUP TOO

CanadianCutie: *GASPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPS*

Im_the_hero69: As for the moose

CanadianCutie: YOU WOULD'NT DARE

CanadianCutie: NO

CanadianCutie: NONONO

Im_the_hero69: THE MOOSE ARE MINE

CanadianCutie: NOOOOOOOOOOO

CanadianCutie: ARTHUR IS MINE

Im_the_hero69: NO WAY

CanadianCutie: YES WAY

CanadianCutie: HE LIKES ME BETTER ANYWAY

Im_the_hero69: GIVE HIM BACK OR IM SELLING THAT FUCKIN BEAR U ALWAYS HAVE ON EBAY

CanadianCutie: That's ok.

Im_the_hero69: oh

CanadianCutie: He's kind of a dick.

Im_the_hero69: I'M STEALING ALL UR ICE HOCKEY STICKS

CanadianCutie: NO

CanadianCutie: I'M SO GONNA BANG ARTHUR

CanadianCutie: AND MAKE YOU WATCH

Im_the_hero69: :(

Im_the_hero69: but hes ma bae

CanadianCutie: He's your bae?

CanadianCutie: Woooooooooow

Im_the_hero69: Well more like my sex slave but same thing

CanadianCutie: WOOOOOOW

CanadianCutie:So you're keeping him against his will?

Im_the_hero69: HEY ITS CONSENSUAL

CanadianCutie: Psshh yeah sure

Im_the_hero69: NO, HE FUKIN LOVES ME

CanadianCutie: YEAH RIGHTT

CanadianCutie: PROVE IT

Im_the_hero69: We were gonna have babies and name them all Alfred Jr.

CanadianCutie: WHAT

Im_the_hero69: DIDNT HE TELL U

CanadianCutie: How are you supposed to have babies?

Im_the_hero69: uhh idk

Im_the_hero69: he's into some dark magic shit he'll figure it out

CanadianCutie: jfc

CanadianCutie: I better bang him b4 he gets preggarz

Im_the_hero69: I WILL CHANGE UR NATIONAL ANTHEM TO JUSTIN BIEBERS BABY

CanadianCutie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

CanadianCutie: IF YOU DO THAT, IM GONNA MAKE IT A THREE-WAY

CanadianCutie: ME, FRANCIS AND ARTHUR

Im_the_hero69: NEVER

CanadianCutie: ARTHUR IS SANDWICHED IN THE MIDDLE

Im_the_hero69: U KEEP STD FACE AWAY FROM ARTHUR

Im_the_hero69: AT LEAST MY JOYSTICK IS CLEAN

CanadianCutie: What

Im_the_hero69: My dick, princess, I meant my dick

CanadianCutie: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTtt

CanadianCutie: THE FUCK

Im_the_hero69: *pOinTs GuN aT rAnDoM mApLe LeAf*

Im_the_hero69: say goodbye

CanadianCutie: nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

CanadianCutie: I WILL SHOOT ARTHUR

Im_the_hero69: you'd do that ?

Im_the_hero69: WHAT KINDA SICK FUCK ARE YOU

CanadianCutie: Nah I wouldn't really i'm too sweet and perfect.

Im_the_hero69: GIVE ARTHUR BACK AND ONLY THEN WILL I PROMISE TO LEAVE CANADA ALONE

CanadianCutie: OK OK FINE

Im_the_hero69: GOOD

Im_the_hero69: SIGN THE CONTRACT SO I KNO U AINT LYIN

CanadianCutie: *SPANKS THE BRITISH ASS*

CanadianCutie: OH

CanadianCutie: OK

Im_the_hero69: WTF

CanadianCutie: SOZ I HAD TO

Im_the_hero69: HE WAS HERE ALL ALONG ?

CanadianCutie: YEAH

CanadianCutie: NO I MEAN

CanadianCutie: HE APPARATED FOR A SEC

CanadianCutie: SO I COULD SPANK HIM

CanadianCuties: NOW HE'S GONE.

Im_the_hero69: WTF

Im_the_hero69: WHERE'S THE LOGIC IN THAT?

Im_the_hero69: YA KNO WHAT I DONT CARE

Im_the_hero69: JUST SIGN THE THING

CanadianCutie: ok

CanadianCutie: *signs Fancis' name* OK DONE

Im_the_hero69: ...fancis...

CanadianCutie: Francis*

Im_the_hero69: ur dumb

Im_the_hero69: LOL

CanadianCutie: NO YOU'RE DUMB

Im_the_hero69: NUH-UH

CanadianCutie: YUH HUHHHHHh

Im_the_hero69: YE WELL

Im_the_hero69: MY DICKS BIGGER THAN URS

CanadianCutie: Thats a lie

CanadianCutie: I'm the twin with the bigger dick

CanadianCutie: Everyone knows that

Im_the_hero69: NO WAY

CanadianCutie: Uh yea

Im_the_hero69: If I had your dick i'd cry because I don't wanna be stuck with that thing

CanadianCutie: Yea it is a bit too big

CanadianCutie: Fair enough

Im_the_hero69: I guess you just appreciate the little things in life

Im_the_hero69: HAH

CanadianCutie: like your dick?

Im_the_hero69: NO

CanadianCutie: I should appreciate your dick more

Im_the_hero69: uh

Im_the_hero69: moving on...

Im_the_hero69: SIGN THE THING

CanadianCutie: I did.

Im_the_hero69: WITH UR NAME NOT A MISSPELLED VERSION OF FRANCEY PANTS' NAME

CanadianCutie: You can't lecture me about spelling Alfred F. Jones.

Im_the_hero69: Shut up

Im_the_hero69: Im disappointed in u

CanadianCutie: i'm disappointed in your dick.

Im_the_hero69: Thats not what Arthur said last night

Im_the_hero69: ;)

CanadianCutie: Ew

CanadianCutie: TMI

Im_the_hero69: Whatttt

CanadianCutie: And Arthur was with me last night

CanadianCutie: Get it right

Im_the_hero69: dude

Im_the_hero69: I told u

Im_the_hero69: hes my bae

CanadianCutie: It was a gang-bang

CanadianCutie: Arthur x everyone else.

Im_the_hero69: U KNO WHAT FINE

Im_the_hero69: im gonna leave and ship myself with Tony or someone

CanadianCutie: Ok

CanadianCutie: I don't want Arthur anymore

Im_the_hero69: wow

Im_the_hero69: r u fukin serious

Im_the_hero69: i h8 u

CanadianCutie: Ditto

Im_the_hero69: you know what

Im_the_hero69: I think its time for another condom joke

CanadianCutie: NOOOOOOOOOOOoo

Im_the_hero69: Do u swear to back off Arthur 4 all eternity

CanadianCutie: Yes

CanadianCutie: I swear.

Im_the_hero69: WHOOOOOOOOOOOO !

Im_the_hero69: OKAY, we good

Im_the_hero69: I'm returning ur pancakes

CanadianCutie: thank you

Im_the_hero69: 3

CanadianCutie: gay

Im_the_hero69: +ﾟ*。:ﾟ+凸(◕‿◕✿)+ﾟ*。:ﾟ+

CanadianCutie: SO GAYYY

CanadianCutie: but ka-ka-ka-kawaii

Im_the_hero69: Kiku taught you well

Im_the_hero69: but you know who else is kawaii?

Im_the_hero69: NOT YOU

CanadianCutie: :'(

CanadianCutie: That hurts

Im_the_hero69: Wanna hear this condom joke I know?

CanadianCutie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

Im_the_hero69: Especially in December, wrap ur member

CanadianCutie: FUCK YOU

CanadianCutie: FUCK YOUUUUUU

CanadianCutie: U KNOW WHAT

CanadianCutie: I married Arthur last night

CanadianCutie: I didn't wanna tell you

CanadianCutie: IM MARRIED TO YOUR BAE

Im_the_hero69: CHOOSE THE RIGHT SELECTION TO PROTECT YOUR ERECTION

CanadianCutie: GO FUCK URSELF

Im_the_hero69: Its fine, I got married to Gilbert and Francis in a three-way polygamist relationship

CanadianCutie: oh shit

Im_the_hero69: WE WERE WASTED AF

Im_the_hero69: DONT JUDGE

CanadianCutie: They were my side hoes :'(

Im_the_hero69: YEA WELL U TOOK MY MAIN CHICK

Im_the_hero69: SO FUCK U

CanadianCutie: Okay...

CanadianCutie: You can.

CanadianCutie: If you want to

CanadianCutie: Incest is Wincest

Im_the_hero69: no.

Im_the_hero69: .no.

Im_the_hero69: thats so wrong

CanadianCutie: but oh so right

Im_the_hero69: Wincest 3 from supernatural

Im_the_hero69: Sorry, got into fanboy mode

CanadianCutie: WHATS WRONG WITH YOU

Im_the_hero69: *Changing back*

Im_the_hero69: OKAY IM BACK

Im_the_hero69: where was I ?

Im_the_hero69: OH YEA

Im_the_hero69: DONT BE IN SUCH A JIFFY, COVER YOUR STIFFY

CanadianCutie: ….

Im_the_hero69: ….

CanadianCutie: I can bang Arthur whenever I wan't.

Im_the_hero69: Rub it in why don't u D:

CanadianCutie: We should fuck each others mum's~

Im_the_hero69: WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. YOU. GET. HELP.

CanadianCutie: IT'S A SONG!

Im_the_hero69: right

Im_the_hero69:also, it's mom

CanadianCutie: MUM

Im_the_hero69: MOM

CanadianCutie: IM CANADIAN U SON OF A BITCH

Im_the_hero69: THEY SAY MOM….right?

CanadianCutie: WE SAY BOTH AHHH

CanadianCutie: ~Its gettin hot in here~

CanadianCutie: ~So take off all your clothes~

Im_the_hero69: Is that another one of your weird songs ?

Im_the_hero69: and no. plus my pants are already off and its getting cold

CanadianCutie: too late *becomes naked*

Im_the_hero69: uh

CanadianCutie: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Im_the_hero69: nah.

CanadianCutie: uh yah.

CanadianCutie: Poutine, eh?

Im_the_hero69: No. I want Macdonalds

CanadianCutie: Ew, Let's get pancakes instead.

Im_the_hero69: NO

Im_the_hero69: I WANT A BIG MAC AND A SODA

CanadianCutie: I want coffee with maple syrup in

Im_the_hero69: You do that, but first

Im_the_hero69: can I ask a question ?

Im_the_hero69: if you say no, ill beat u

CanadianCutie: Okay….

Im_the_hero69: in u and Arthurs relationship

Im_the_hero69: who's on top ?

CanadianCutie: THATS NONE OF UR BUSINESS

Im_the_hero69: I NEED TO KNO

Im_the_hero69: FOR

Im_the_hero69: STUFF

CanadianCutie: OK OK

CanadianCutie: FINE

CanadianCutie: IM A BOTTOM BITCH

Im_the_hero69: HAH I KNEW IT

CanadianCutie: STFU

Im_the_hero69: MAKE ME

CanadianCutie: *KICKS U*

Im_the_hero69: OhMyfUkInG gOd

Im_the_hero69: THAT HURT

CanadianCutie: *kisses u ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)*

Im_the_hero69: *THROWS MOUNT EVEREST AT U*

Im_the_hero69: (I know thats not possible, just go with it)

CanadianCutie: *dies*

Im_the_hero69: LOL

Im_the_hero69: WAIT ARE U REALLY DED

Im_the_hero69: MATTIE SAY SOMETHIN

Im_the_hero69: maaatttttttttttiiiieeeeeeeeeee

Im_the_hero69: *pokes you with a stick*

CanadianCutie: *is dead*

Im_the_hero69: oh well shit

Im_the_hero69: I GUESS I CAN HAVE ARTHUR NOW

Im_the_hero69: WHOOOP

CanadianCutie: R.I.P MATTHEW WILLIAMS

CanadianCutie: WAS LOVED BY MANY

CanadianCutie: BUT KNOWN BY FEW

Im_the_hero69: loved by many ?

Im_the_hero69: yah right

Im_the_hero69: no one ever remembered him

Im_the_hero69: well except for me, but like, I'm such a hero so its my duty

CanadianCutie: But that'd be harsh to put on his headstone.

CanadianCutie: We have to at least lie.

Im_the_hero69: Oh okay

Im_the_hero69: fair enough

Im_the_hero69: WHO THE FUCK IS U THO

CanadianCutie: I am Arthur.

CanadianCutie: u wot m8

Im_the_hero69: oh

Im_the_hero69: I kinda killed ur husband

Im_the_hero69: my bad

CanadianCutie: Eh

CanadianCutie: Fuck him.

Im_the_hero69: eh?

Im_the_hero69: MATTIE IS THAT YOU

Im_the_hero69: I THOUGHT U DIED

CanadianCutie: No you wanker. It wasn't like an 'EHHH'

CanadianCutie: It was,

CanadianCutie: 'eh'

CanadianCutie: Alright hold on.

 **CanadianCutie Added Arthur_Kirkland To Chatroom**

 **CanadianCutie Has Left The Conversation**

Arthur_Kirkland: There we go.

Im_the_hero69: Uhh

Im_the_hero69: whatever

Im_the_hero69: WANNA BANG?

Im_the_hero69: LETS MAKE SOME YAOI

Arthur_Kirkland: Goodness me,

Arthur_Kirkland: Okay.

Im_the_hero69: awesome dude

Arthur_Kirkland: There is a slight problem however.

Arthur_Kirkland: I don't have a condom.

Im_the_hero69: O_o

Arthur_Kirkland: Oh well, too late to worry about that.

Arthur_Kirkland: Have to do it raw.

Arthur_Kirkland: Now then,

Arthur_Kirkland: FACE DOWN ASS UP.

Im_the_hero69: WOAH

Im_the_hero69: FORWARD

Im_the_hero69: JFC

Arthur_Kirkland: But sweetie pie, you love it like that.

Im_the_hero69: u bottom 2night

Arthur_Kirkland: Why?!

Im_the_hero69: why not

Arthur_Kirkland: Because, maybe I want my dick in your arse.

Im_the_hero69: fiiiiiiiiiiiine

Arthur_Kirkland: Yesss

Im_the_hero69: Hang on iggy, i'm coming over

Im_the_hero69: ;)

Arthur_Kirkland: I'll be waiting.

 **Im_the_hero69 Has Left The Conversation**

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 **What the hell did I just do….I apologise to everyone, this is what happens when I have too much free time OTL. I realise that the 'usernames' are awful, but I couldn't think of anything better at the time :/ I may or may not write a bonus chapter or a sequel involving some USUK smexy times because I'm such a perv ;) but for now I'll leave it marked compete, and sorry for killing off (?) Matthew *begs for forgiveness*. Thanks for reading! (^_^)**

 **P.S. All the puns that were used can be found through various parts of the internet. (Definitely not the sex bible of men, does that even exist? lol)**


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